Monday, June 30, 2008

Reflections 3 - Tofu

I don't know how much time has passed. I decided that I wasn't going to start working on it until I cleaned up a bit. Cleaned up the kitchen, started the laundry.

Was going to do just a small section. Finish by 9. Was mid-way through a lot of parts. Snipping while the paint dries. Assembling while other pieces dry. Painting parts as I see that they need painting. Lining at the same time. Some where along the lines I lost my patience. I got sick of doing it by increments. I wanted to see the end result. I don't know how long that frame has being sitting on my table waiting for the armour. Decided to put a bit on just to remind myself to keep it up. It looked really incomplete with just the calf armour on. Shield parts finished drying... What's a body without a head? Decided to work on that... I want to finish this thing!

Working and working... thought that I got to a point where I could stop for the day... but I couldn't. I couldn't stop. I decided that I was going to go all the way. Not worry about the details right now and just assemble the damn thing. My idea was to prepare decal and line all the pieces and then have the final assembly be the FINAL assembly. Didn't work out that way.

I got to thinking. You can do things by increments. Little by little. Day by day. Sometimes it seems like nothing's really happening but you're getting closer to your goal slowly. Even if you can't see the results. When I first came to Japan I couldn't say the simplest things. Even before that I used to watch animation and wonder how people could make heads or tails of the language. I told myself that I'd learn it someday. It seemed SO foreign to me. And then fast forward 10 years later I'm living in the country getting my driver's license renewed sitting in a lecture with a bunch of Japanese people and actually understanding a lot of the content. How did this happen? So gradual... and then suddenly you just break through.

I guess tonight was my break through night. It was gradual and then I kicked up the pace considerably just because I was sick of waiting. Sick of being patient. Sick of taking things slowly, doing just a little bit each day. I've been working on this thing for over a month and I want to see the results now!

Working. Push forward. Forgot about the time. Forgot to eat. Forgot about the laundry. Just focused on one piece after the next. Not getting it done. Just getting it together. I'm going to finish it the way that I want to but I just... need to see this thing fully assembled now. I realized that there are still a lot of parts that need to be taken care of better. Lots of touch ups. Lots of lining, decals left to do but I'm putting a large dent in it all tonight. Getting it all together.

Parts are ready. Not assembled. Midnight. Work tomorrow but I'm not thinking about that now. Obsessive. Addicted. Clean up. Take the garbage out. Go for walk. Eat. Tofu, kimchi, green onions and seaweed.

Is this just a phase? Am I going to be 50 years old with plastic robots scattered around my house? Am I still going to be doing this? I just can't stop. I'm ALWAYS making one. I've always been doing it. I always have something that I'm working on. Since I bought my first one when I was 17. Even now after I finish this one I've got at least 6 to work on. Crazy. When does it end?

The final assembly has become almost ritualistic to me. Clean the work area. Clean everything. Nothing left to do but burn the incense, build and pose it.

It's not finished but it's well on it's way. After tonight I'm going back to increments. Lining here. Touch ups there. But tonight I can finally see what it is that I've made. I can finally see where all those tiny increments of time have gone.

As I was walking to the bus today I thought hard about 'Where the time goes'. Trying to answer that age old adage. I look at these Gundam's and see solid manifestations of the answer to that question.

You know what's silly? Is that when I put them away in boxes because I don't have the room to store them, after a while I start to miss them. And I think to myself that I didn't treat them right. Silly guy. It's just plastic! But they're all infused with a part of me. All the time that I've spent... they own it. It's theirs now. And the more time I give them the more character they have to me.

OK. Time to assemble.